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An Autoethnographic Account of Cosmetic Surgery
Victoria Pitts-Taylor
United StatesGALLERYCONVERSATION
The fifth surgeon was a man in his late sixties who treated me both paternalistically and kindly. I chose him not for his...
After the surgery, he told me that inside my nose was a "mess," and confirmed his suspicion that I had fractured it skiing the year before. (I should point out that the surgeon fractured it again, as a planned part of the operation.)  He would have disliked my nose in any case, of course, because it was "wrong for my face." Although it was disagreeable to hear someone describe my nose as "wrong," I also found this reassuring.
Generally, the responses to my desire for rhinoplasty can be categorized in one of two ways: either I was psychologically normal and my nose was flawed, or my nose was normal and I was psychologically or morally unwell. The surgeons, with one exception, saw my nose as flawed and needing to be fixed. But the pathologized status of my nose rendered my desire for cosmetic surgery reasonable, and thus my psyche was perceived as healthy and proper.
Although I should have expected these reactions, given the analysis of cosmetic surgery I had been outlining, I did not experience them only as academic matters, but also as personal. What might have been the response I was looking for? Perhaps I had hoped that my desire to change my nose, and my curiosity about undergoing cosmetic surgery myself, would be affirmed without either the pathologization of my nose or my psyche.
Me: Just my nose. I don't want anything implanted.
Dr. J: It's often the case that we suggest a chin implant with a rhinoplasty, because we're looking at the whole profile. But it's just something to think about. Your chin is not bad.
Me, shaking my head: I don't want anything implanted. I found these kinds of suggestions offensive. Despite the fact that I had offered my face up for such scrutiny, they hurt my feelings.
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